Thursday, January 31, 2013


By Ted Colin
Associate Editor,
Humor News Nuts
Mrs Blinder,the poor lady that had the closest encounter with Lizard boy, has sent us a copy of a poem she wrote about the creature. Her encounter was so traumatic that she said that only through writing poetry can she deal with the nightmares she is still having after her confrontation with the strange creature.

Lizard monster from the mist,
In my dreams your face persists,
You turn my mind from thoughts of good,
To your evil ways out in the wood,

Oh lizard boy or, is it man?
Will you grow bigger if you can?
Will your appetites increase?
Shall we campers have no peace?

After stealing my bacon,
Off into the woods you run,
Will you next eat pigs or sheep?
Will you devour me in my sleep?

Lizard boy where are you from,
No one knows from whence you come,
What are you, you little beast?
On what other worlds have you feast?

I have now said all I have to say,
I just wish you would go away,
You stole my bacon and my meal,
Now it's my sanity you steal.

I'm sure everyone wishes this poor lady a speedy recovery. Unfortunately, in regards to the creature, he appears to be getting much larger according to the most recent reports. He has also begun stealing other food from campers besides bacon. Hot dogs, bratwurst and even soda pop have been disappearing all over Northern Michigan. We can only hope that Lizard Boy will be hunted down like the reptile he is and have the law serve him vengeance as cold as his reptilian blood.